What is the best way to solve an 80 year old conflict, divided across religious, national and ideological lines? Well Princeton University’s ‘Committee on Palestine‘ has finally figured out a new solution to the Middle East conflict – an intractable war that has baffled analysts for years. The problem is not land for peace, the status of Jerusalem, a Jewish state or radical Islamism as the media will have you believe. The root, principle cause of all violence in the Middle East, is in fact, Hummus.
Are you tired of all the fighting? Do you dream that one day Israelis and Arabs will walk hand in hand through poppy fields, singing Bob Marley and blowing daisies? Do you want to wake up and see a big headline that reads “True peace, finally”? If you answered ‘yes’ to all the above, then the single, most important thing for you to do, to advance the cause of peace, is to boycott Hummus.
According to Yediot:
Hummus feeding the ‘occupation’? Next week students at New Jersey’s Princeton University will be called upon to prevent Sabra-brand hummus from being sold at restaurants and stores on campus.
It’s time to throw off the yoke of tainted chickpeas, olive oil and garlic. It’s time to finally recognize this so-called “dip” for what it actually is: an obstacle to the peace process. I don’t care if its tasty. I don’t care that it goes well with Shwarma and Sabich. I don’t care that it’s healthy and good for you. Every time that you sample this bloodied concoction of violence and oppression, you are directly responsible for the deaths of innocent children, everywhere. Take a good hard look in the mirror, and decide for yourself if it’s worth it. Hummus is, according to a very reliable source, the favourite food of murderers on death row, terrorists, extremists and Sheikh Hilaly.
So, decide for yourself right here and now, will you continue supporting mass-murder, violence and the cruel hummus war-machine? Or will you take the high moral ground and start purchasing Tahini instead?